Rantings of a Broken Hearted Non-Citizen

Earlier this year I was shocked to know that my working contract was not being renewed as it was always year after year. This year they said, they needed to sit down and deliberate.

So for a month, I sat at home staring at my medical degree (Distinction? it doesnt matter if your jobless) and wonder what would my fate be.

After much hustling and pushing and begging, finally, they came to a decision to give me another year of contract. They did not even give me the grade I deserved, they kept me at UD 41. Its ok, beggars can be choosers, I thought to myself to just be thankful I can get back to work.

It was apparently a fluke, they already gave me mine this year, so thats fine, but it seems that they have no intentions to prolonged any more non citizen contracts despite them being married to locals or already having PR. I know of a Doctor, who is a non-citizen, married to a local. wife a doctor and a specialist. he just passed his exam and qualify to be a specialist, but they said NO, we only pay you as MO. (details and name have been kept to keep the confidentiality of the Doctor)

So that means, I'm sure to be jobless next year past february when my contract for this year will be terminated. How to be a productive citizen if the country doesnt allow you to work. Go private? I called MMC the other day and they said that non specialist cannot receive licence to work with private. Work abroad? then.... i just leave my husband and family here? go alone? and most countries want a minimum experience of 5 years in service.

Not to mention that the Gov still owe me money. my gratuity money from my previous contract is still being owed to me. It may not be a whole lot, but it has been a year and still i haven't received it for various reasons from various people. Miss A say call Mr B. Mr B said waiting for Mr C. Mr C said waiting for KKM. n KKM said tunggu! bagus la.

Did I mention that my husband is a local, a doctor, and working for the goverment too? yeah, but does it matter? no, not at all. Gov only want the spouses to make babies for the country. Let the husband be the only bread winner in the family. His pay? mere pennies. How to pay for 2 loans, house rent, insurance, overheads, groceries and family support? Now they put the icing on the cake - GST!

Thats not even the best part of this tragic drama. The best part is that I was born on Msian soil. in 1987 was born on an Island of labuan. I was raised on that soil till i was 18. I ate msian rice, seafood and vege. I went to local schools, aced all the local papers and only finally when it was time to go to University did i leave msia for 6 years to complete my medical degree. and after that i came back and worked in service in Sabah, a place where not many want to go with my husband who was a msian. 

Many Ask me why I'm not malaysia. why i dont have IC or at least PR? I return you the questions. Its your country. you should know!

When I ask to be citizen, they said NO, you dont qualify. (even if im born here and lived more than 18 years, just coz my parents werent locals) When i ask for PR status they told me NO, i dont qualify coz i need to have a dependant visa for 5 years. its ridiculous because i have been married for 8 Years now! and when i said, ok ok fine at least give me some leniency and give me visa 5 years. they said again NO, they said coz i got no kids!

the frustration is endless. I work in a district filled with people who are just from over the border. people who, some regarded as enermy of the country after recent breach in tawau. But these people come in at night by boat, land on some shore, and poof, within a year, sometimes less they will somehow be citizen. I dont know if its legally, via some back door, or some gov policies. all i know is, they go to the hosp, sometimes to the point were they dont even speak malay, but they have IC! best of the best!

Maybe this is my ticket to be accepted. Maybe in my resume i need to write, landed on shore by boat.

I don't hope for anything out of this, just want to rant my heart out. the frustration is killing me. But I shouldn't be selfish, I know it bothers other non citizens who are in the same boat as I am. Some have served for even longer year, suffered through greater trials and hardships. Have children and families here brought all the way from afar only to be rejected with a flick of a finger.

Go out they said, go to another country. No worries, at this rate, we wont have a choice. And we will bring our spouses with us, and our children and the whole family. and in the new country, I bet their laws to be citizen isnt as crazy as yours, like exp australia or singapore. just work there, live there for a certain time and bam, you be accepted as one of them. Is it my loss? I dont think so. I think its your loss. With the decline in your birth rates already, you can't afford to loss your citizens. But at this rate, you will loss not just your citizens, but your smart citizen with professional careers and high educations. Your loss since you are the one that paid for their education, their healthcare, and everything else till this point. 

Again, just some rather random rants. Nothing will change after this. Maybe I am unlucky, maybe I wasn't born with a silver spoon, or maybe it just fate to be this way. I learned to take it easy, because being a control freak only makes me grow white hair. I will let the boat ride the waves, I'll paddle with the waves, and I hope the waves bring me to an Island with treasures beyond. 

If I am wrong in any of my statements, i would love to be corrected. I write based on my personal experience. You could ask my husband, he would sing the same song. Maybe I should change professions. LOL. I can't think of doing anything but medicine. so not flexible.. maybe consider joining showbiz? too old sudah ba kan. sigh. 

Chow mates.. Life is a box of chocolate, some of them are poisonous :P